My Dad

“And the father becomes son and son becomes the father…”

This quote lingers in my thought for some time now. I get the full understanding of this quote when I knew the son become the father… From me transitioning to being a parent and father to two lovely kids… I heard this from Jesus Seven Last Words and also from the movie Superman Returns in the ending scene. And I’m not sure if I heard it correct in the cartoon series Voltes V, where Steve, Big Bert and Little John used to talked to their father, Dr. Armstrong…huh!

Well, I grew up to loving parents, Tatay Manding, my dad and Nanay Elvie, my mom. My dad is a world war two veteran. I grew up at the age my father is already above 50 years of age. From my “kiddie” years to my teenage years, my dad is always with me from school and in going in our house in Cavite. I’ll tell about my mom in my later blogs.

My dad is a different kind of dad. My dad used to tells me stories about the peace time of 1930s, the war times of 1940s, the American’s support for 1945 liberation and from 1946s till Marcos regime. How he became a church servant or “sakristan” in Tagalog and used to see beautiful nuns or “madre” in church back in his teen years…  I know that my dad is a much older than my classmates’ dad but I am proud of my dad and from what he used to tell me, I share it with my friends.

My dad was very caring of me; never allowing me to play games with much physical contact like basketball, “ tumbang preso”and “luksong baka” so I will not get hurt. I think that is the reason why my cousins Cavite usually call me “lampa”.

Until my 2^nd year high school, my dad will always pamper me. Applying Johnson’s baby powder on my back so that I will not perspire a lot during my school activities, assisting me wearing my school polo. My mom would tell my dad, why he always pampers me when he knows I am already in my teenage year and I get shy. Well, I later learned this from my mom, that my dad wanted to show me the same care he gave my brothers and sisters when they are still young.” By the way, I have 4 siblings in my father’s family with me being the youngest.

During weekdays, my mom stays in our lola’s house in Cavite because of her teaching job in Dasmarinas Cavite while dad and I are staying in Paranaque reason is we don’t want the trouble and hassle of commuting everyday in going to and from school because during those times, public utility jeep is very seldom to and from Cavite. Since we are in dad’s house in Paranaque, Dad and I would eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together, watch TV news program together and sleep before 9 in the evening.  Lunch is included in our together since my dad’s house is 5 minutes walk to school. Though I know after night, he seldom sleeps early for he listens to his radio for news. When there is a boxing and basketball games, he will not miss a thing. Though I watch and play basketball and boxing, I prefer more watching cartoons s… hahaha…

Every Friday after my class, we would go home to my mom in Cavite. Before we go home, we buy “pasalubong” for mom and “lola” in Paranaque Public Market. From La Huerta, we would wait for a jeepney with signboard of Imus. And I am always glad because it reminds me that for the next two days, I am on the field play with my cousins in Cavite. When childhood, I remember more when I tease my cousin till they cry, that I would heard my dad calling me and asking me to lay on my stomach in a bench and hit me with his belt that I would cry aloud and I will hear my cousin laughing (just kidding), worried about me also. And when I am crying in pain, my mom would tell my dad to stop and comfort me (alas, for being an only son..hehehe…no im not a brat kid). Later, in my teenage year, did I realize my mistake and learn from it.

Age took toll of my father. Emphysema was the main cause of his sudden weakness. I was not been able to help take good care of my dad because of my school that time… Now, I was thinking of “if only” again… I have already learned and adjusted to that… That time, I dreamed that someday I will be a medical doctor with specialization in medical robots that can heal and treat elderly diseases like that of my dad.

From his death in 1995, for about a week, he would be visit me in my dreams and when I woke up, tears are present in my eyes. I never had the chance to talk to him and tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me. How much I’ve learned from him for being my father.

When I was browsing his stuff stored in my mom’s closet, I came to his wallet where the picture Michelle, my dad’s granddaughter is kept. It didn’t occur to me to felt different think because the way my dad shows his love for me and the love my dad for his grand children. I know he met Michelle and being Bernabe’s baby, he loved his apo during his stay with my brother in Honolulu, Hawaii when my brother was assigned there.

Later also I thought that I do not have much printed pictures of my dad. He only has 2 with 1 picture with a girl in her office attire. Eventhough he do not have lots of pictures with me, the face of him is clearly painted in my heart.

I love my dad and I miss him so much… I am proud that he is my father, for the time took good care of me and my mom and for the values he instill in me… Now that I am a father to a two loving kids, I know, my dad, is very proud of me... I will give all the best that is to offer to my family - my wife and our 2 kids and also our families…

Jojo Bernabe